things i think about while powerwashing 49
nearing the big five o
Ok this week is going to be a little rushed but TLDR I went camping had a good time, watched a lot of football, and also did a lot of work. I'm super tired (10pm sleep time for me) and I just wanna sleep.
jailbreak
Monday morning — I sit down to start and get some work done before heading to the office when I hear a BANG to my left.
I look over, assuming that my cat and supreme ruler Simba has knocked over something on the shelf, but instead see my screen window pushed out. That's right folks, it happened. My cat ran through the window like the god damn kool aid man.
Simba is not an outdoor cat. He used to be a stray (I think) and was let outdoors at some point in his life but he is very much an indoor cat and he knows it. Well, he does now. Because as soon as his paws hit the ground in my backyard he let out the most distressing meows I've ever heard him emit.
The other thing about seeing your pet in an unfamiliar context is how big they actually are. Or small! But if you've met Simba, you know he's big. Seeing him crawl across the path in my backyard, then under our storage unit, I kind of just marveled at the large orange mass screaming in distress, and eventually slinking silently into the depths below my backyard.
At this point, it's around 7:30 am. I'm a little desperate to get him out and get along with my day since I had a lot to do, but Simba had other plans. The whole reason he was out there was because he saw a bird and busted out after it. Being the inexperienced hunter that he is, he failed. But that didn't stop him from trying later. With my body contorted into some strange yoga position and the cool morning dirt and gravel digging into the skin on my knees, I slowly tried to coax him out from the depths of my backyard with some food.
It almost worked. He started walking towards me, silently but curious, looking like the a raccoon that got into a factory supply of cheetos, when something caught his eye.
A bird.
So there, as I despaired in the safety of my backyard, I witnessed my cat turn to attempt to pounce on the bird. As he was getting ready to strike, the bird, sensing danger, departed the scene. Dejected, Simba slunk back into the depths. This happened three more times.
I was finally able to grab him and throw him back inside (without complaint from him as well), but that marked the beginning to a hectic week. But now all is fine and he sleeps in my bed.
anonymous subscriber news
Yet again — good shit from my subscribers. We love the Texas state fair and we love youtubers. Please remember to submit your anonymous news at the form listed below. Enjoy!
- anonymous subscriber used a power washer for the first time last week!
- anonymous subscriber met a famous YouTuber!
- anonymous subscriber did not get shot at the texas state fair last week
- anonymous subscriber is moving to a better neighborhood and getting more space in their apartment
- anonymous subscriber is giving away plants!
- anonymous subscriber cut themselves lifting pharmaceutical equipment in a warehouse while working at their “corporate job”
- anonymous subscriber just thinks plants are so darn cute
camping
went camping in big sur! here are some pictures of me having some good times with the bois. We also got a lot of cheap but usable camping gear from Walmart (it's on sale! going out of season!) so make sure to check your local superstore for anything (not sponsored)
animal of the week
Esteemed subscriber Emi Chan is BACK with the animals. She sent me a bunch of them with engaging captions so I've just been slowly working through them. For those who don't know, Emi actually basically just studies and works with animals for a living (having studied wildlife in college!) and has a really cool job. Look at the cute softshell turtle! Wishing dat boi the best in living a healthy life. Please remember to send me your pet pictures at [email protected] while I try to get my mail server able to accept incoming mail again. See you next week!
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